Some jokes to brighten up the day

1) DON'T LOOK AT A NAKED LADYBoy
1: Why do you run from a naked lady? Boy
2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn intostone. A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAMEThis is how India got its name..... The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of hiscountry and his mistress ask him "Is it in dear?"

(3) RESEARCH FINDINGResearch shows men are fatter than women because every night men get freshmilk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoonof starch!

(4) ARAB MANAn arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. "Your name please?" "
Abdul Aziz""Sex?" "Six times a week!!"
"No, no, I mean male or female!"
"Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel!"

(5) SERVICESex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service and sometimes you have to besatisfied with self-service

(6) HAPPY MANWhat makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of Playboyand ..
Wife on the cover of "Missing Persons"

(7) SWIMSUITWhy was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(8) GOOD AMBITIONTeacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Because its the only profession where u can tell a woman totake off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(9) DENTISTWoman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby thanhave a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

(10) VIRGINOld lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "